Lyrics

I'm a mummy 
I scare people 
Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody 
I'm a mummy 
Aaaahhh! 

I was born one thousand nine hundred and fifty-nine years ago 
My daddy was a mummy too 
Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody 
I'm a mummy 
Aaaahhh! 

I don't try to scare people 
I really came back to life to buy a copy of "Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)" 
But people run from me 
Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody 
I'm a mummy 
Aaaahhh! 

I wish there was somebody somewhere who wasn't afraid of me 
Ah well 
Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody 
I'm a mummy 
That's cool 
I'm a mummy 
You mean you're a mother 
No, I'm a mummy 
I'm a beatnik 
People are afraid of me 
Yeah, I'm hip 
I was born one thousand nine hundred and fifty-nine years ago 
Oh yeah, like that's a long gig 
Where can I buy a copy of "Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)"? 
Ooh, man, I don't dig that trash
You know: Brubeck, Shearing, Modern Jazz Quartet 
I'm a mummy 
Man, you got a warped groove 
Aren't you afraid of me? Aren't you going to scream? 
Oh yeah, like, "help" 

I'm a mummy 
I scare people 
Look what happens when I walk up to somebody 
Hello, I'm a mummy 

I was born one thousand nine hundred and fifty-nine years ago 
Look what happens when I walk up to somebody 

I don't try to scare people 
I really came back to meet Paul McCartney 
But people run from me 
Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody 
 
I wish there was somebody somewhere who wasn't afraid of me 
I'm a mummy 
Hide quick! A mummy! 
Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody 
Aaaahhh! 

I don't try to scare people 
But look what happens when I walk up to somebody 
I'm a mummy 

Look what happens when I walk up to somebody 
I'm a mummy 
Skinny mummy 
You don't scare me 
What's happening here? 
You're not mad enough 
Skinny mummy 
I'm a fifth element 
My daddy was a mummy too 

They were born one thousand and sixty-six nine hundred years ago 
But look what happens when I walk up to somebody 
Mercy! 
I'm outta here 

Commentary

< Post in progress >

“I’m a Mummy” is The Fall’s entertaining cover of “The Mummy”, a 1959 novelty single by Bob McFadden and Dor. “Dor” was Rod McKuen, who wrote the song. McFadden does the weedy mummy’s voice. A DJ in Louisville barricaded himself into his studio and played it for nearly four hours. It was included on the 1960 album, Songs Our Mummy Taught Us.

The Fall’s version was included on the album Levitate (1997), where it is credited to “unknown”. The Fall only played it once before the release of the album, at Dingwall’s, London, on 24 September 1997. It was then on setlists from November to December 1997, and then performed on the “difficult” US tour in March and April 1998 before disappearing forever (there were no gigs in 1998 prior to the US tour). Its final performance was at the Black Cat, Washington, on 5 April 1998. It wasn’t played at the abortive Brownies gig two days later.

It isn’t clear who plays on The Fall’s version. Simon Wolstencroft was present for some of the recording of Levitate before he left the group, but doesn’t mention “I’m a Mummy.”

Footnotes

1. “Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)” was a 1959 single by Edward Byrnes and Connie Stevens [Discogs]. It was written by Irving Taylor. ↩︎
2. The references here are to the American jazz pianist Dave Brubeck (1920 – 2012), British-born blind jazz pianist George Shearing (1919 – 2011) (some lyric transcription sites get this name wrong), and the Modern Jazz Quartet, formed in 1952. ↩︎
3. Apart from being an amusingly appropriate person to name here, instead of the “Kookie, Kookie” single, McCartney was salient at the time of recording: he received his knighthood and also released his twelfth solo album, Flaming Pie, in 1997. ↩︎
4. The Fifth Element is a science fiction film directed by Luc Besson and starring Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman and Milla Jovovich. An early scene in the film takes place in an Egyptian temple. The film was released in May 1997 and in British cinemas from June. Levitate was released in September. It seems very likely that the film is what is being referred to. ↩︎
5. M.E.S. seems to have an aversion to using numbers straight, and often mangles them. Here’s a classic example. ↩︎

Sources / Links

• Ford, Simon (2003). Hip Priest: the story of Mark E Smith and The Fall. London: Quartet Books.
• Mackay, Tommy (2018). 40 Odd Years of The Fall. Place of publication unknown: Greg Moodie.
• Pringle, Steve (2022). You Must Get Them All: The Fall on Record. [paperback edition]. Pontefract: Route Publishing Ltd. [Online store]
• Smith, Mark E. (2008). Renegade: The Lives and Tales of Mark  E. Smith. London: Penguin.
• Thompson, Dave (2003). A User’s Guide to the Fall. London: Helter-Skelter Publishing.
• The Track Record: “I’m A Mummy”
• Wolstencroft, Simon (2014). You Can Drum But You Can’t Hide. London: Strata Books.